You'll Be Sorry When I'm Dead by Marieke Hardy

By Marieke Hardy

From early life goals of prostitution to her unabashed ardour for heavy ingesting, from transforming into up wide-eyed at the set of Australian soaps to her infatuation with Bob Ellis, those are the outrageously pleasing and deeply revealing memories of a multimedia superstar.

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Sample text

I was over it. And aside from that, more than three visits with prostitutes probably qualifies you as a bona fide pervert and while I may be many things I’m pretty certain I’m not one. I just have a curiosity about human beings, my world, and musical theatre as a genre, and I’m fully determined the latter won’t be getting me into any further trouble. com Hi Matty Long time no anything. I see from your blog that you’re overseas and playing music – I hope it’s proving a fulfilling and creative experience.

There was possibly some kind of stoner logic attached to writing a fan letter in the style of Snooki from Jersey Shore. No doubt I had pictured the right-wing twits at the Young Liberal headquarters gathering around to read with worried frowns, musing aloud that if this was the sort of halfwit fan they were attracting with their policies perhaps they should probably just rethink the whole thing, or even give up altogether. The hobby (quest? ) of writing to companies soon ebbed, no doubt much to the combined relief of the managing directors at Uncle Tobys, Sax International and Ocean Spray, and I instead wrote to new friends.

You can cry over it and smear the text with your salty emoting. In the late 1990s, I went on what could only be called a letter-writing binge. I wrote to everybody. I wrote to Joan Kirner and Jeff Kennett and John Cain. I wrote a love letter to the now sadly deceased ABC journalist Paul Lyneham (who penned a handwritten response which included the rather bemused: ‘most viewers only write to complain so supportive comments like yours are highly valued’). I wrote to Bill Bryson and David Sedaris and Michael J Fox.

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