By Patrick Neate
Grasp storyteller Patrick Neate has written a humorous, provocative and bold story of London excessive- and low-life set one of the capital's twirtysomethings. that includes functionality poetry; homicide; Trafalgar Square's basically fried-chicken brought on conflict; hat promoting; financial institution theft for the center periods, love (and different social ailments); in addition to pigeons – plenty of crazed, indignant pondering pigeons – The London Pigeon Wars is either a comic book fantasy for our instances and an exhilarating bird's eye view of existence (and loss of life) within the city.
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I stood with a frozen smile on my face while Wendell and Duncan shared a hearty laugh. After he let go of my hand, Duncan loaded his palms with Purell and rubbed them vigorously. 16484-IntoHotAir 11/2/07 11:32 AM Page 21 INTO HOT AIR 21 “Nothing personal, just got a little germ phobia. ” “Mr. ” “In a way, I guess you could say I want you to help me track down . ” I paused for dramatic effect “. . myself. ” Wendell jumped in. ” “Oh, a mysterious diary, how interesting. Fellas, if I had a nickel for every A-hole who came in here with their long-lost uncle’s journal wanting me to help them go find his frozen body .
All the animals had some sort of problem. Some were missing legs, others eyes, and some were even more freakish: There were bunnies with rat tails, rats with bunny tails, and one hor- 16484-IntoHotAir 11/2/07 11:32 AM Page 45 INTO HOT AIR 45 ribly obese squirrel that must have weighed at least three hundred pounds. “It looks like a scene right out of Night of the Living Dead,” I said, “except with zombie animals instead of your standard zombie human beings. Note to self: Pitch Night of the Living Dead Animals idea to Weinstein bros.
I guess. ” he asked generously. “Well,” I began, “where I come from, those froi groi burgers are all the talk, plus those . ” He scooped the last spoonful of something exotic into his mouth and pushed his bowl aside. ” “These? Hell no, just a bowl of baked beans. The truffles are for paying customers. So what can I do for you two? ” “That’s right,” Lauren began. “Chris has a very interesting idea. ” I made a show of clearing my throat. ” and I winked. “You know what the best thing for a dry throat is?